Introduction:

Adolescence can be a time of significant change for both children and parents. From mood swings to academic struggles, it’s common for parents to feel disconnected or frustrated as their child navigates this developmental phase. At Clayful, we understand that parents want to be there for their kids but often feel unsure about how to bridge the gap between support and independence. We hosted a recent "Ask Me Anything" panel with our coaches to tackle some of the most common challenges parents face. In this blog post, we’re sharing valuable insights and practical strategies to help you connect with your child, navigate their challenges, and foster a supportive, nonjudgmental environment.

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1. How to Connect When Your Child Closes Off

One common challenge parents face is a child who has become more withdrawn or argumentative. If your child doesn't talk to you much anymore, it can be tempting to press for answers, but this approach often leads to tension.

Instead, we recommend easing into conversations by showing genuine interest in their life. Don’t jump right into a serious conversation if you haven’t spoken much all day. Instead, share something lighthearted, or show interest in your child's activities, hobbies, or friends to establish a connection first. Once a connection is established, gently transition into more vulnerable topics. This approach helps your child feel safe and reduces the likelihood of them feeling like their privacy is being invaded.

Pro Tip: Practice "parallel play"—spend time together doing something you both enjoy without focusing on the conversation itself. This can create an organic space for more serious topics to emerge when your child feels ready.

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2. What to Do When Your Child Hates School

When your child expresses dislike for school, it’s natural to want to fix it quickly, but understanding the “why” behind the frustration is key. Instead of focusing on the negative, get curious—ask questions like, "What about school is bothering you?" and validate their feelings.

At Clayful, we believe in the power of curiosity. By approaching the situation with empathy and a desire to understand, you can create an opening for your child to share more, making it easier to address the root causes of their resistance.

Pro Tip: If the conversation happens just before school when they don’t want to go, keep it positive and reassure your child that you’ll check in later when there’s more time to talk.

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3. Balancing Accountability and Autonomy

As teens grow older, balancing accountability with autonomy can be a tricky line to walk. On one hand, you want your child to take responsibility for their actions; on the other, you don’t want to overstep or smother them.

To foster autonomy, have a conversation about where your child wants more independence. Acknowledge their growing need for responsibility and validate their desire for ownership. At the same time, remember that failure is part of growth—if they stumble, offer support without taking over.

Pro Tip: Celebrate your child’s successes, no matter how small. Even if something went wrong, what went right? Positive reinforcement encourages them to continue making responsible choices.

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4. Managing Social Media Use and Its Impact on Mental Health

Social media is a powerful tool, but it can also negatively impact your child’s mental health. As parents, it’s essential to approach social media with neutrality. Instead of outright banning it, engage your child in a balanced conversation about its pros and cons. This helps them reflect on their own social media habits without feeling judged. 

Pro Tip: Encourage your child to reflect on their social media use—what benefits are they getting, and what are the potential downsides? Helping them develop self-awareness, without swaying them with your agenda, can guide a more open conversation about healthier social media habits.

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5. Be Present and Avoid Jumping to Solutions

When your child shares something, refrain from jumping straight into fixing the problem. Actively listening and showing empathy first is crucial, and sometimes your child just needs someone to hear them without offering solutions.

‍Pro Tip: Listen and reflect before offering advice. You might say, "That sounds really tough. Tell me more about how you're feeling.”

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6. How to Encourage Self-Reflection Without Rescuing or Criticising

While it’s tempting to swoop in and solve your child’s problems, sometimes the best thing you can do is ask reflective questions to guide them to their own conclusions. This allows them to grow resilience & critical thinking skills that will serve them as they grow older.

Instead of fixing the issue immediately, ask open-ended questions like, "What do you think would make things easier?" or "What would you like to happen next time?" or “What do you need from me right now?”

Pro Tip: Avoid asking questions that start with “why” as they tend to make people more defensive. Instead of asking “Why did you do it that way?” ask “How come you made that choice?”

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7. Parenting Neurodivergent & Neurotypical Children Together

Neurodivergence is a spectrum and may require different responses depending on each situation. What we will leave you with is this: fair does not always mean the same. If you have children with different needs and capabilities, they may wonder why they can’t do the same things. Have open and ongoing discussions with your families to recognize that every child is unique, and their needs may differ. Foster an environment of acceptance and respect for each child’s individual needs.

Pro Tip: Rather than comparing your children, create space to understand and meet each child’s unique needs. Without singling out a particular child, encourage conversations about what helps each individual thrive, recognizing that we all have needs. 

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Conclusion:
Parenting during adolescence requires a balance of empathy, curiosity, and boundaries. At Clayful, we’re here to support you through these challenges and empower you with the right tools & mindset to strengthen your relationship with your child. If you’re interested in learning more about how Caregiver Coaching with Clayful can help, CLICK HERE to learn more & sign up. We’re here for you every step of the way.

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